Somebody showed me a really compelling blog today about how/why some bloggers can be so thoroughly honest in their blogs. It touched me, and it made a lot of sense, so I am reposting it here.
http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2009/07/21/how-to-decide-how-much-to-tell-about-yourself-on-your-blog/
I think the thing I identify with here is that THIS blog, is meant to help folks with invisible illnesses deal with the ugly stuff that can happen to them, physically, with their families, with their lives. It's therapy for me to write honestly about these things as they happen to me, just like it's therapy for someone who is having something similar happen to them see that it's happening to others, and they are NOT alone.
The best part, writing about it gets it out of the system and works it out in the mind so you can see whatever it is more clearly.
As to the little things in life, like being honest that you're behind in bills and stressing out on that, or angry at your partner for something minor like not putting the cap on the toothpaste, it helps get it out so instead of becoming a fight it's dispersed.
I have been reading the Randy Pausch book, The Last Lecture. I don't know how many of you are familiar with that book, but it's written by a very brilliant and sweet man who was dying of pancreatic cancer, and decided he wanted his last lecture, given at Carnegie Mellon, to be a message to his kids about what was important to him to impart to them before he left this earth. Needless to say it's a tearjerker, but it is funny and joyful in other places, and deeply insightful. One of the things he talks about is that his wife Jai was told to enjoy her time with him more by not worrying about the little things they always bickered about, like Randy leaving his clothes on the floor. So instead, she'd go write in a journal about it and they'd be able to move on and enjoy their day.
When I was a teen, with a lot of troubles MY journal helped me a lot. I have 5 or 6 journals full of angst that preserved my sanity. I think blogging is now a natural extension of that sort of catharsis and sorting of emotion, except that it's now shared so that others get to see and feel those same things and see they are not alone. They are not an alien. There is someone to talk to, reach out to, or just relate to, who might understand.
Anyway, I had planned to write about epiphanies this week, but this article above inspired me, so this is what you all got. ;)
Maybe you'll hear more from me this weekend. At any rate, enjoy the last few days of 2011, and may 2012 be better for EVERYONE!
This blog is about the process I follow while making my various creations, Yarn, paint, Recipe writing, etc, and is also about life as it happens around here. I want to talk not only about creative fun, but the experience of having Fibromyalgia and raising a family while creating that fun. My Etsy shop is at: www.etsy.com/shop/skyemberr
Showing posts with label therapy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label therapy. Show all posts
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Fall is going nicely
I know it's been awhile since I've posted. We've had some things to settle. We got the house moved, got stuff out of storage for the first time in 3 years, had some nonsensical battles with family, and have generally worked pretty hard as a family in the last three months!
I have been continuing to make jewelry and crochet (though did that less while it was so warm). I am getting much better at my wire wrapping and have made a lot of friends through the facebook community that are both jewlery makers and people who craft beads. I've learned a lot and been inspired by so many of them. I had not suspected that the community would be so welcoming, but it is, and a lot of the petty squabbling you would expect between people who are basically selling similar items is not there for the most part. There is a great group, called Color Combo Challenge, (look up CCC in search on facebook) and they have been amazing. Every week we select colors, then by the end of the week we all post up pictures of what we made using those colors. There are advanced artisans as well as beginners in there and everyone is really helpful!
My fibromyalgia has been having it's typical ups and downs, but overall I am feeling a bit better since I started trigger point injections in my spine and my calves. The injections are a long acting drug that is similar to lidocaine, called Marcaine. It doesn't make me goofy, but it numbs up those big knots long enough for them to release (about 18 hours), so I am having far fewer problems with my shoulders, arms, hands and legs. I can start to feel it wearing off by week 3, and then I am eligible to have them again in week 4. Really the biggest problem I am having is insomnia and the lack of sleep from that. I find myself dropping off to sleep instantly in odd places and positions with no warning. I just don't feel sleepy and WHAM! I am out cold. We're still working on that. I get to see a new doctor for that at the end of this month and I hope he has some ideas or answers.
As to the family problems, we had some issues with our oldest daughter being emotionally abused over the last couple of years. It got steadily worse until finally we had to leave (that's why we moved) to get away from the abuse. Some of my husband's family got very angry with me for stating that it had happened publicly, without naming who the abuser was. In a nutshell, between the fibromyalgia problems and that issue they decided that I must be insane. Meanwhile, my 9 year old was put in the middle when all of them elected not to show up for her birthday for various reasons. I VERY unoffensively asked on facebook to reschedule it so my daughter would not be crushed, but they turned that into a huge fight, attacking me and my skills to mother my child in front of about 300+ people on my facebook page, and then as a group defriended me. From that point on most of them elected not to speak to me at all. Then in September I tried to get the person who had done the smallest amount of attacking to apologize for her actions, and I was told that me, my 2 daughters and my husband were no longer part of the family.
Normally, I would tell ANYONE who did that to go take a long hike off of a short pier and drive on with my life, but since my husband and daughter loves them, I tried very hard to mend fences. I apologized 3 times for things I didn't even really do, and was told my apologies were not good enough, meanwhile none of them have apologized at all to date. I am at the point where no more apologies will be forthcoming from me. My husband feels the same way. This makes things awkward since we used to have 30+ person family functions but now we will no longer be doing that. Christmas this year will be interesting (though much cheaper!).
We attended our first (tense) event with all of the family who has been nasty to us present tonight and managed to get through it without bloodshed. We ignored them and vice versa, but my daughter was still hurt when they came in the door and all of her cousins had been told not to play with her. That was fixed and things were ok, but I don't see us being in close proximity again soon until someone gets married. The reason we all got together tonight was to congratulate my brother in law on his engagement!! :)
So anyway, my point of telling this long story was to talk about the ways in which fibromyalgia can effect our lives. They decided that since I have to take non-opiate drugs and have a sleep disorder that I am a terrible mom and am insane. When I did what the National Fibromyalgia Association recommends, which is to write a letter and explain my disabilities, the entire family ignored it, and some of it labeled it my "Manifesto to Justify My Actions" as if I am the unabomber for saying publicly that my kid is being abused so it will STOP. I am not sure if that happens a lot as well in families where abuse becomes an issue, where the rest of the family gangs up on the parent who leaps in to stop it, but I suspect that might be the case. Of course the stress and crazinesss and disrespect from the family highly aggravated the fibro for a few weeks there, but I did lose about 10 pounds! ;)
My daughter is doing much better now that she is in a safer place and talking to a counselor. She even has friends that live all around her here and after school this house becomes the romping ground of 3 to 4 kids. She's never had that before and needs it. She's having some challenges at school because she's hearing impaired and 2 of her teachers are not well educated about how to work with a hearing impaired kid. Plus, after what she's been through this fall she's very prickly and could give a damn about what an adult says if she feels they are out of line. This is not great for a 9 year old because it gets her in trouble and makes it harder for her teacher to gauge how to deal with her. I am trying to be patient, and let her heal and let her know that we love her, no matter what.
On the business side things have been pretty good! My fan page on facebook is up to nearly 550 and I am getting regular sales from both my ebay and etsy shops which pay for my supplies and a bit more. I have been working my tail off trying to get ready to do my first craft show in December. I've never done one before but think it would be neat. It's a good way to get my feet wet and see if I can earn a little bit of money to spend on my family this christmas. I am enjoying the jewelry making and will be learning soldering and chain mail jewelry in December. After that I may do some stained glass classes with whatever else tickles my fancy thrown in. I am very interested in lampworking beads, but have not found a good place/time for a class, plus I am not equipped here to do it, though I have some great role models!
Here are some pictures of my recent work:
Sea Gifts
Cobalt Ice
Angie's Heart
Turquiose Stardust
Autumn Glory
Tree of Life
Swirls and Dots
Some of these are still up for sale in my etsy shop which is at http://www.etsy.com/shop/WindscryDesigns
Anyway, as you can see, I've been a busy bee! I am working on christmas designs now, and also on making rings. I just learned how to make them. here is one of my first ones. The stone in it is called Candy Jade.
To all of my followers, I am sorry it's been so long snce I posted, but as you can see we had some issues to work out and a lot of unpacking to do. I love our glorious new house. I had wanted a garden and this one came with about 20 fully mature rose bushes ringing a fountain. I have saved and dried many of the petals for making sachets and will be selling those along with ones made from lavender I start in my greenhouse this winter.
Farewell for now, and hopefully it won't be so long until I post again!
I have been continuing to make jewelry and crochet (though did that less while it was so warm). I am getting much better at my wire wrapping and have made a lot of friends through the facebook community that are both jewlery makers and people who craft beads. I've learned a lot and been inspired by so many of them. I had not suspected that the community would be so welcoming, but it is, and a lot of the petty squabbling you would expect between people who are basically selling similar items is not there for the most part. There is a great group, called Color Combo Challenge, (look up CCC in search on facebook) and they have been amazing. Every week we select colors, then by the end of the week we all post up pictures of what we made using those colors. There are advanced artisans as well as beginners in there and everyone is really helpful!
My fibromyalgia has been having it's typical ups and downs, but overall I am feeling a bit better since I started trigger point injections in my spine and my calves. The injections are a long acting drug that is similar to lidocaine, called Marcaine. It doesn't make me goofy, but it numbs up those big knots long enough for them to release (about 18 hours), so I am having far fewer problems with my shoulders, arms, hands and legs. I can start to feel it wearing off by week 3, and then I am eligible to have them again in week 4. Really the biggest problem I am having is insomnia and the lack of sleep from that. I find myself dropping off to sleep instantly in odd places and positions with no warning. I just don't feel sleepy and WHAM! I am out cold. We're still working on that. I get to see a new doctor for that at the end of this month and I hope he has some ideas or answers.
As to the family problems, we had some issues with our oldest daughter being emotionally abused over the last couple of years. It got steadily worse until finally we had to leave (that's why we moved) to get away from the abuse. Some of my husband's family got very angry with me for stating that it had happened publicly, without naming who the abuser was. In a nutshell, between the fibromyalgia problems and that issue they decided that I must be insane. Meanwhile, my 9 year old was put in the middle when all of them elected not to show up for her birthday for various reasons. I VERY unoffensively asked on facebook to reschedule it so my daughter would not be crushed, but they turned that into a huge fight, attacking me and my skills to mother my child in front of about 300+ people on my facebook page, and then as a group defriended me. From that point on most of them elected not to speak to me at all. Then in September I tried to get the person who had done the smallest amount of attacking to apologize for her actions, and I was told that me, my 2 daughters and my husband were no longer part of the family.
Normally, I would tell ANYONE who did that to go take a long hike off of a short pier and drive on with my life, but since my husband and daughter loves them, I tried very hard to mend fences. I apologized 3 times for things I didn't even really do, and was told my apologies were not good enough, meanwhile none of them have apologized at all to date. I am at the point where no more apologies will be forthcoming from me. My husband feels the same way. This makes things awkward since we used to have 30+ person family functions but now we will no longer be doing that. Christmas this year will be interesting (though much cheaper!).
We attended our first (tense) event with all of the family who has been nasty to us present tonight and managed to get through it without bloodshed. We ignored them and vice versa, but my daughter was still hurt when they came in the door and all of her cousins had been told not to play with her. That was fixed and things were ok, but I don't see us being in close proximity again soon until someone gets married. The reason we all got together tonight was to congratulate my brother in law on his engagement!! :)
So anyway, my point of telling this long story was to talk about the ways in which fibromyalgia can effect our lives. They decided that since I have to take non-opiate drugs and have a sleep disorder that I am a terrible mom and am insane. When I did what the National Fibromyalgia Association recommends, which is to write a letter and explain my disabilities, the entire family ignored it, and some of it labeled it my "Manifesto to Justify My Actions" as if I am the unabomber for saying publicly that my kid is being abused so it will STOP. I am not sure if that happens a lot as well in families where abuse becomes an issue, where the rest of the family gangs up on the parent who leaps in to stop it, but I suspect that might be the case. Of course the stress and crazinesss and disrespect from the family highly aggravated the fibro for a few weeks there, but I did lose about 10 pounds! ;)
My daughter is doing much better now that she is in a safer place and talking to a counselor. She even has friends that live all around her here and after school this house becomes the romping ground of 3 to 4 kids. She's never had that before and needs it. She's having some challenges at school because she's hearing impaired and 2 of her teachers are not well educated about how to work with a hearing impaired kid. Plus, after what she's been through this fall she's very prickly and could give a damn about what an adult says if she feels they are out of line. This is not great for a 9 year old because it gets her in trouble and makes it harder for her teacher to gauge how to deal with her. I am trying to be patient, and let her heal and let her know that we love her, no matter what.
On the business side things have been pretty good! My fan page on facebook is up to nearly 550 and I am getting regular sales from both my ebay and etsy shops which pay for my supplies and a bit more. I have been working my tail off trying to get ready to do my first craft show in December. I've never done one before but think it would be neat. It's a good way to get my feet wet and see if I can earn a little bit of money to spend on my family this christmas. I am enjoying the jewelry making and will be learning soldering and chain mail jewelry in December. After that I may do some stained glass classes with whatever else tickles my fancy thrown in. I am very interested in lampworking beads, but have not found a good place/time for a class, plus I am not equipped here to do it, though I have some great role models!
Here are some pictures of my recent work:
Sea Gifts
Swirls and Dots
Some of these are still up for sale in my etsy shop which is at http://www.etsy.com/shop/WindscryDesigns
To all of my followers, I am sorry it's been so long snce I posted, but as you can see we had some issues to work out and a lot of unpacking to do. I love our glorious new house. I had wanted a garden and this one came with about 20 fully mature rose bushes ringing a fountain. I have saved and dried many of the petals for making sachets and will be selling those along with ones made from lavender I start in my greenhouse this winter.
Farewell for now, and hopefully it won't be so long until I post again!
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