back to blogging, Yay!!!!

I absolutely cannot believe that almost a year has sped by since I have blogged! My store has been somewhat busy, my two girls aged 3 and 11 are keeping me on my toes, and their school always needs something.

I have been steadily trying to rebuild stock in the store. I had a buyer who became a good friend buy a lot of my fancier stuff, so I am restocking items of like quality, and adding some of the new designs we came up with together. I would put up a pic or two but do not have them here on the kindle.

I was also slowed down in a big way this summer by a big abdominal surgery that was supposed to be minor exploratory laparoscopy. The docs found a massive amount of scar tissue, endometriosis, and 3 cysts. It took me over a month to recover from that, and now I am on a cancer drug called Lupron to make some of those cysts stop appearing. Since June I have had at least two large ones come back that we know of. They are all non cancerous, but they hurt like the devil. No worries, I am cancer free, but I get to experience menopause for six months, which may be interesting.

Consequently I am spending lots of time in bed and not much at the torch making beads, or at my workbench making new stuff for fall. Oddly, I did get some vintage looking rose earrings done, but people won't be so excited about those until spring. ;)

I have been working on a huge "garden granny" Afghan, that is in about twelve colours. I like it but have trouble making some of the squares if the color combo does not catch my sense of deliciousness. Recently some of the antique rose in the design had been quite yummy and encouraging. Do you guys ever feel that way about yarn in large projects?

I will put up some pictures if I get my kindle here out to visit the workbench.

I am also doing some chain maille, on the small scale, working my way up to dragonscale, but it's going to be awhile, since I am just really doing Byzantine and romanov.

Anyway, it's great to talk at all of you! I think blogging is a joy and need to get back to it. I am also on pinterest as skyemberr king if any of you would like to check out my boards. I have a lot of stuff in there that you will probably like and I am interested to start following you all!

I hope your weekend had been full of "fun" back to school stuff.

I am excited, stressed, sort of pulling hair out, and jumping up and down today trying to get my taxes done. It's been so busy for the last month that I had only gathered the papers and not actually sat down to do them!  I managed to get about 60% of the way through last night and am now twiddling thumbs because the 21 month old REALLY does not want me to do taxes unless she's "helping" me. (Though who knows? Maybe that's a good thing when it comes to IRS forms)

The good news is that it was busy due to an awesome wedding, my 40th birthday, and tons of sales in both shops!

Next weekend I get to attend a beginners lampworking class here and learn the basics of glass bead making with torch and kiln. I have really come to be fascinated with that art as I use lampwork more and more in my work. I love to look at beads now and try to figure out how they were done. Then I got to have a "play date" with a torch a couple of months ago and loved it. So that is my 40th birthday present. Friends and family chipped in so I could take the class.

Am I upset about 40? Not really. I actually feel pretty lucky at present. I am retired. I get to see my kids all day and randomly take them to the beach.  I get to make creative things and occasionally sell them. I captain my own ship and if somebody annoys me I don't have to work with them. I really don't feel different crossing the 40 line, just probably less stressed than when I crossed the 30 line. It's pretty nice.

I would say my only gripe is still the Fibromyalgia and zillions of accompanying physical problems, but I have reached the stage where I have found the lemons I was given, made lemonade out of them, and most of the time am on the porch sipping lemonade. If I take things VERY slowly I can get some things done, like planting a garden.

That's what life really is anyway.  It's a garden and as the old saying goes, you reap what you sow. You get out of it, what you put into it. "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make."

Love you all out there that are trying to "plant your gardens" or even get through your own personal lemon grove just so you can make lemonade. There's hope. If you are newly diagnosed with one of the silent illnesses that rage through our bodies, you're not crazy. Listen to yourself. Listen to your doctors, but with a grain of salt. You know what's best for you and with many illnesses the management is unique to the individual. For instance, I take lyrica, and that med makes some people really sick, others not.

Just keep trying and you will eventually find ways to manage parts of your illness and things DO get better. 

Again, if any of you want to message me on FB under windscrydesigns, or here on blogger to talk about this, or if you just want to post, please do!

Spring is here!

Spring is here, and my garden outside is blossoming. The roses are slowly coming back with gorgeous shiny foliage and tiny buds that are exploding into lovely blooms.

My peach trees are covered in tiny fuzzy baby peaches that are about the size of a fingernail. Here is a pic of the first peach blossoms:

I have been out weeding all of the beds and trying to get a handle on what sort of space we have back there. I can sow a lot of seed directly into the ground here due to the climate, as long as I keep up on my watering. So far we will be growing:

Dwarf Nastutriums in mixed colors
California poppies for my daughter's grassy slope that she loves to play on
Cucumbers (straight eight variety)
Velvet Queen red sunflowers
Mammoth Russian Sunflowers (yellow)
Scarlet Emperor Runner Beans
Early Golden Bantam Sweet Corn
Ruby Queen Sweet Corn (red)
Grandpa Ott Morning Glories (dark purple with pink centers)
Sweet Onions
Catnip
Nasturtiums (rambling variety)
Yellow summer Squash
Zucchini
Sugar Pie Pumpkins
Crimson Sweet Watermelon
Petite sweet carrots
grapes
apricots
peaches
guavas
pomegranates
Lemons
dwarf oranges
Kumquats
Yams
Red Potatoes
Aloe
Tomatoes
Strawberries (TONS)

Herbs:
African Blue Basil
Thyme
Basil
Greek Oregano
Parsley (flatleaf)
Garlic
Rose petals and hips
Lavender
Yes, I know, it's quite a list but seeds were 20 cents a pack so we went a little nuts, and some of the other stuff we already had in place. We are also adding Pink Jasmine on a trellis, Lantanas, Hibiscus, and Purple calla lilies.

We hope to make lots of Jam out of the fruits, eat and/or can or freeze the veggies. The garden came with many mature fruit trees and a green house so we already have a leg up! The Zucchini will turn into a lot of zuchini bread for family and friends.

Other than being obsessed about planning the garden, things have been ok. My ebay business selling Vera Bradley bags has been doing well this month, and I am having to restock to keep something in shop!  My spring items that over wintered are ready to come out and be sold,

The jewelrymaking has progressed. I got a GORGEOUS workbench for Christmas, so have a space to organize and work. I am hoping to take a beginner's lampworking class in April and then expand and ventilate the space in the garage a bit and use it to make some beads.

I went through a pretty tough month last month, which is part of why I had not blogged. I don't have depresion most of the time, but the sleep doctor put me on Zoloft, which actually made me depressed and made me feel like I was too weak to get out of bed most of the time, though I did not sleep. ><

I even felt like my creative juices were cut off so I stopped making things for about 3 weeks!!! It also caused what I think is a tendinitis (or at the least a fibro flare) in my left shoulder that has been killing me, so I am having to take Lorcet for pain 1 to 2 times in the evening. I am hoping my doc can fix the shoulder issue on Friday. :)

Now I am on Lexapro on the tiniest dose they can give me. I feel no anxiety, but it's not helping me go to sleep, LOL. Here I am at 5 am typing this.

Family matters still are what they are. No fences have been mended. We have a wedding coming up for my brother in law next week, so we will be there. I am a little anxious about that because , after we went to the engagement party someone in the family was posting nasty things about my 9 year old. I don't think they will do it again, but we will be studiously ignoring that part of the family and instead, focusing on experiencing the joy of seeing our brother FINALLY marrying the right lady.  We love you Ang. :)

So anyway, that's what I have been up to. If you would like to see my new jewelry it is at http://www.etsy.com/shop/WindscryDesigns

My Vera Bradley Handbags and Lands End stuff is in my Ebay store at:

http://stores.ebay.com/skyemberr

I should be getting some very cool new Vera Bradley patterns in within the next week. I am expecting Rhapsody in Hue, Tea Garden, Twirly Birds in Alice, Makes Me Blush in Alice, and possibly some Carmody and Mocha Rouge. :) Please feel free to ask me if you are looking for a Vera pattern in particular and I can try to get it in stock at a good price.

Please post below and tell me how YOUR garden is doing. Are you making any plans? Do you want chickens this year?

On the Health of Blogging

Somebody showed me a really compelling blog today about how/why some bloggers can be so thoroughly honest in their blogs. It touched me, and it made a lot of sense, so I am reposting it here.

http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2009/07/21/how-to-decide-how-much-to-tell-about-yourself-on-your-blog/

I think the thing I identify with here is that THIS blog, is meant to help folks with invisible illnesses deal with the ugly stuff that can happen to them, physically, with their families, with their lives. It's therapy for me to write honestly about these things as they happen to me, just like it's therapy for someone who is having something similar happen to them see that it's happening to others, and they are NOT alone.

The best part, writing about it gets it out of the system and works it out in the mind so you can see whatever it is more clearly.

As to the little things in life, like being honest that you're behind in bills and stressing out on that, or angry at your partner for something minor like not putting the cap on the toothpaste, it helps get it out so instead of becoming a fight it's dispersed.

I have been reading the Randy Pausch book, The Last Lecture. I don't know how many of you are familiar with that book, but it's written by a very brilliant and sweet man who was dying of pancreatic cancer, and decided he wanted his last lecture, given at Carnegie Mellon, to be a message to his kids about what was important to him to impart to them before he left this earth. Needless to say it's a tearjerker, but it is funny and joyful in other places, and deeply insightful. One of the things he talks about is that his wife Jai was told to enjoy her time with him more by not worrying about the little things they always bickered about, like Randy leaving his clothes on the floor. So instead, she'd go write in a journal about it and they'd be able to move on and enjoy their day.

When I was a teen, with a lot of troubles MY journal helped me a lot. I have 5 or 6 journals full of angst that preserved my sanity.  I think blogging is now a natural extension of that sort of catharsis and sorting of emotion, except that it's now shared so that others  get to see and feel those same things and see they are not alone. They are not an alien. There is someone to talk to, reach out to, or just relate to, who might understand.

Anyway, I had planned to write about epiphanies this week, but this article above inspired me, so this is what you all got. ;)

Maybe you'll hear more from me this weekend. At any rate, enjoy the last few days of 2011, and may 2012 be better for EVERYONE!

Doing better

So, on to happier things! Oddly I should be moaning and groaning about catching my 1 year old's cold but I am in a good mood tonight and feeling better after sleeping for about 18 hours. I think sleeping killed the bug just by simply giving my body mega power to kill it by my lack of movement and allowance of fever to do it's thing.

Anyway, I feel better tonight and now husband is in bed starting to feel like he's catching "it".

We went tonight and had some turkey dinner with some family and things seem better than they did a few days ago which is good.

I am really excited because next week we are going up to Fresno (yeah I know Fresno is NOT an exciting place) to see my cousins and Aunt and Uncle so that my kids can get to know them more and appreciate having a great aunt and uncle, as well as the myriad cousins and second cousins that I have not seen since I was about 16. In fact, this is the first time I remember in my lifetime that anyone from the rest of my family has gone to Fresno for Thanksgiving, and the last time we had turkey day together was sometime in the late 80s in San Jose at another Uncle's house. So anyway, I'd say it's about time we had family time and turkey day there and it's exciting for all of us.

The other cool thing is that I get to make Baklava to bring to the dinner. This is an honor in my eyes since the family there is half Lebanese and have their own delicious version of this dish. Anyway, I will share my Baklava recipe here sometime this week after I dig it out.

As far as projects go I completed a couple of them in the last few days, Here are a couple of photos. One of them is not ready for primetime as I had a bead fall off during the shoot and have to redo the photos when the sun finally appears.

Nightsky plus Earrings.

This was the easiest one for me to make because I'd been thinking about how to use these cobalt beads for months. The focal bead is one I had custom made to match them, and it has silver dots melted into it all the way around to imply stars in a night sky. The beads are all mystical night beads, stardust beads, Lapis Lazuli, Rainbow Moonstone, and Opalite.

It's on etsy at: http://www.etsy.com/listing/86448919/necklace-and-earring-set-nightsky-cobalt

The second thing I made this week is a sweet little bracelet (Pearl Garden) can be worn year round but still manages to be sort of christmassy. The rosebuds drew my eye when I bought the bead set.

This is a great stocking stuffer because it is small. cute and not so expensive. It's on Etsy at: http://www.etsy.com/listing/86597695/bracelet-pearl-garden-freshwater-pearls

OK, this last one doesn't look very christmassy, I just liked it so I made it. I had not done chain dangles on earrings and felt it was about time so the earrings hang a bit low and brush the collar. Asyou can see, these are the ones I will have to re-photo because there was a missing bead and I did not notice that while I was keeping the 1 year old from getting her hand on them while I was taking pictures. Rowan is a VERY helpful little girl. LOL.

So one of the earrings is missing a bead, but this is what I have been up to at about 3 am. :) These won't be in my shop for a few days. I have also been working to revamp some of the styles on the pandora style big bead bracelets I had. I am trying to add more unique touches because I find that many of them look fresh off of a retail shelf which is definitely NOT the look we're going for!

So anyway, that's all that's new from me today! I hope you are all having a great weekend that will stretch into next week and turkey, turkey and more turkey!!!!!!

For my Aussie friends: Eat some turkey anyway. You'll just feel better.

There's something really bothering me

There is something bothering me, and something I want to make clear.

First, this blog is somewhat anonymous as I do not announce or name myself or my family members in detail, you'd have to dig to get more information, and most of you don't want to do that, you'd just like to hear what I have to say, especially those of you with Fibromyalgia or some other silent disease who are trying to find their way through it and cope, and find hope!

I posted a couple of days ago, very generically about how the fibromyalgia, and abuse of one of my children has affected me and my immediate family here in the house, and how we were disowned by a wing of the family because of some of those issues. The issues were so overwhelming and significant to me that they stopped me from blogging for two months as I dealt with grief.

I posted the story about it, hoping to show other people with fibromyalgia or lupus,or other silent diseases that they are not alone in their struggles. The common story of family rejection linked to these illnesses happens to others and is echoed in many forums for these illnesses around the internet community! I also posted about several other unrelated topics in the same post.

Since that post, I have been harassed by a couple of family members, who were NEVER identified by name. Apparently they feel that even if they cannot be linked to what I am posting about, without some serious effort from one of you, that they can censor what I put in this blog. I just want to state, for the record, that I won't allow bullying to silence what I have to say, especially as it relates to how Fibromyalgia has changed my life and distorted relations with friends and family. That would run counter to the actual purpose of this blog which is to discuss living with that illness while raising a family, and crafting a small business. (see the statement at the top of the blog where it says this)

So anyway, to those of you wonderful followers who read my posts and appreciate that I am trying to help others by sharing some of these panful stories in a generic fashion, thank you. It's hard to go through the experiences and very hard to write about them, but I am very grateful that you lend an ear or words of support, or just your thoughts.

To the ones who are angry because you feel guilty that you perpetrated some very nasty acts against me and my family unit this year due to your misunderstanding of my illness and your failure to protect an abused child over abusers, please remember that the internet is like the television set. If you don't like what I have to say, you can change the channel. I am not naming any of you by name and I have family all over the US so I could be talking about anybody, so I am not defaming you, and it's NOT being posted to the pages of your friends unless YOU put it there.

Furthermore, passing around links of the post to family who knew nothing about the blog topic because they deliberately aren't followers or friends, or fans, just to raise trouble and cause pressure or strain, is totally uncalled for, and certainly does not facilitate healing of the family that I have worked for and you profess to want.

I'll continue to write what I feel and what I'm thinking about because I have the freedom in this country to do so. It's also therapeutic to me and for others, based off of the responses I get.

This is very sad, because this blog is not meant to be a battleground and I won't allow it to be.
I am sorry the rest of you had to hear this very unhappy post, but I guess it illustrates again how difficult it can be when relations go bad in a family due to these invisible ailments.

Now that I've made THAT clear, let's get back on to happier subjects, eh?

Andy and Women over 40

Hello there!

I just thought I would share this divine bit of humor from Andy Rooney. I don't think I have ever heard it put better than he has here, but it certainly describes many of us females in an accurate and complimentary manner!  ( I am 39 but it still describes me to a tee) Click the enclosure link to read it. http://www.divinecaroline.com/22323/34969-andy-rooney-forty

I hope that you all are enjoying the week. I have a teething baby who is trying very hard to keep me in bed with her, so have snuck out to make a post. We all need some humor now and again. :) If I can stay out of bed long enough I am going to try to get some crafting done but I am not optimistic. She's waking up about every 20 mins or so looking for Mama. I have Dad in there taking my place since it's his bedtime, but if she wakes up enough that may not suffice.

I sold my first ring this week, so am in good spirits. I am also happily awaiting some beads in my mailbox, and supplies for the upcoming "first" craft show. Fire Mountain has this neat thing called "The Bosses Bead Bag" which is one pound of random beads, findings and settings that they scoop into a bag for $6.00. I got some awesome stuff last time, so am excited to see what this one has!

I still haven't managed to grab some sunlight time for pictures of jewelry or handbags, but have a ton of new inventory to put in my shop, including Vera Bradley bags in my ebay shop, and Lands End shoes. The link to that shop is: http://stores.ebay.com/skyemberr . In a day or so I should have a couple more Veras in there including a big, perfect Vera Bradley  2011 Winter Collection Mandy Safari Sunset tote bag that I will probably not have for long. I just need to get it photo'd! :)

Fall is going nicely

I know it's been awhile since I've posted. We've had some things to settle. We got the house moved, got stuff out of storage for the first time in 3 years, had some nonsensical battles with family, and have generally worked pretty hard as a family in the last three months!

I have been continuing to make jewelry and crochet (though did that less while it was so warm). I am getting much better at my wire wrapping and have made a lot of friends through the facebook community that are both jewlery makers and people who craft beads. I've learned a lot and been inspired by so many of them. I had not suspected that the community would be so welcoming, but it is, and a lot of the petty squabbling you would expect between people who are basically selling similar items is not there for the most part. There is a great group, called Color Combo Challenge, (look up CCC in search on facebook) and they have been amazing. Every week we select colors, then by the end of the week we all post up pictures of what we made using those colors. There are advanced artisans as well as beginners in there and everyone is really helpful!

My fibromyalgia has been having it's typical ups and downs, but overall I am feeling a bit better since I started trigger point injections in my spine and my calves.  The injections are a long acting drug that is similar to lidocaine, called Marcaine. It doesn't make me goofy, but it numbs up those big knots long enough for them to release (about 18 hours), so I am having far fewer problems with my shoulders, arms, hands and legs. I can start to feel it wearing off by week 3, and then I am eligible to have them again in week 4. Really the biggest problem I am having is insomnia and the lack of sleep from that. I find myself dropping off to sleep instantly in odd places and positions with no warning. I just don't feel sleepy and WHAM! I am out cold. We're still working on that. I get to see a new doctor for that at the end of this month and I hope he has some ideas or answers.

As to the family problems, we had some issues with our oldest daughter being emotionally abused over the last couple of years. It got steadily worse until finally we had to leave (that's why we moved) to get away from the abuse. Some of my husband's family got very angry with me for stating that it had happened publicly, without naming who the abuser was. In a nutshell, between the fibromyalgia problems and that issue they decided that I must be insane. Meanwhile, my 9 year old was put in the middle when all of them elected not to show up for her birthday for various reasons. I VERY unoffensively asked on facebook to reschedule it so my daughter would not be crushed, but they turned that into a huge fight, attacking me and my skills to mother my child in front of about 300+ people on my facebook page, and then as a group defriended me. From that point on most of them elected not to speak to me at all. Then in September I tried to get the person who had done the smallest amount of attacking to apologize for her actions, and I was told that me, my 2 daughters and my husband were no longer part of the family. 

Normally, I would tell ANYONE who did that to go take a long hike off of a short pier and drive on with my life, but since my husband and daughter loves them, I tried very hard to mend fences. I apologized 3 times for things I didn't even really do, and was told my apologies were not good enough, meanwhile none of them have apologized at all to date. I am at the point where no more apologies will be forthcoming from me. My husband feels the same way. This makes things awkward since we used to have 30+ person family functions but now we will no longer be doing that. Christmas this year will be interesting (though much cheaper!).

We attended our first (tense) event with all of the family who has been nasty to us present tonight and managed to get through it without bloodshed. We ignored them and vice versa, but my daughter was still hurt when they came in the door and all of her cousins had been told not to play with her. That was fixed and things were ok, but I don't see us being in close proximity again soon until someone gets married. The reason we all got together tonight was to congratulate my brother in law on his engagement!! :)

So anyway, my point of telling this long story was to talk about the ways in which fibromyalgia can effect our lives. They decided that since I have to take non-opiate drugs and have a sleep disorder that I am a terrible mom and am insane. When I did what the National Fibromyalgia Association recommends, which is to write a letter and explain my disabilities, the entire family ignored it, and some of it labeled it my "Manifesto to Justify My Actions" as if I am the unabomber for saying publicly that my kid is being abused so it will STOP. I am not sure if that happens a lot as well in families where abuse becomes an issue, where the rest of the family gangs up on the parent who leaps in to stop it, but I suspect that might be the case. Of course the stress and crazinesss and disrespect from the family highly aggravated the fibro for a few weeks there, but I did lose about 10 pounds! ;)

My daughter is doing much better now that she is in a safer place and talking to a counselor. She even has friends that live all around her here and after school this house becomes the romping ground of 3 to 4 kids. She's never had that before and needs it. She's having some challenges at school because she's hearing impaired and 2 of her teachers are not well educated about how to work with a hearing impaired kid. Plus, after what she's been through this fall she's very prickly and could give a damn about what an adult says if she feels they are out of line. This is not great for a 9 year old because it gets her in trouble and makes it harder for her teacher to gauge how to deal with her. I am trying to be patient, and let her heal and let her know that we love her, no matter what.

On the business side things have been pretty good! My fan page on facebook is up to nearly 550 and I am getting regular sales from both my ebay and etsy shops which pay for my supplies and a bit more. I have been working my tail off trying to get ready to do my first craft show in December. I've never done one before but think it would be neat. It's a good way to get my feet wet and see if I can earn a little bit of money to spend on my family this christmas. I am enjoying the jewelry making and will be learning soldering and chain mail jewelry in December. After that I may do some stained glass classes with whatever else tickles my fancy thrown in. I am very interested in lampworking beads, but have not found a good place/time for a class, plus I am not equipped here to do it, though I have some great role models!

Here are some pictures of my recent work:


Sea Gifts

 Cobalt Ice

 Angie's Heart

 Turquiose Stardust

Autumn Glory

 Tree of Life

Swirls and Dots

Some of these are still up for sale in my etsy shop which is at http://www.etsy.com/shop/WindscryDesigns

Anyway, as you can see, I've been a busy bee! I am working on christmas designs now, and also on making rings. I just learned how to make them. here is one of my first ones. The stone in it is called Candy Jade.

To all of my followers, I am sorry it's been so long snce I posted, but as you can see we had some issues to work out and a lot of unpacking to do. I love our glorious new house. I had wanted a garden and this one came with about 20 fully mature rose bushes ringing a fountain. I have saved and dried many of the petals for making sachets and will be selling those along with ones made from lavender I start in my greenhouse this winter.

Farewell for now, and hopefully it won't be so long until I post again!